Enjoy another adventure with Laramie, authored by my dad!
Well shucks, it was that time of year again, and by that time of year, I mean the best damn weekend of the year. That’s right, it was the weekend that every princess of the prairie and every Hondo of the high sierra dreamt about, it was once again, time for the Hootinist Hollerinist weekend in the whole darn west. And as it should be, it was gonna be held, as usual in Laramie’s home town, but this year was just a bit more special than other years. Ya see, Laramie was a 7th year Senior at her hometown block system college, and god willin, all 375 pounds of Laramie would be graduating next spring with a coveted degree in pre-kindergarten education with minors in elderly equine psychology and animal husbandry. But this fall flung a real slatherin of icing on her senior year cake, ya see, Laramie would be competing in the Ranch Rodeo and whoopin and a whompin her way through the women’s triathlon. This competition would be one that Laramie couldn’t wait to be part of, it had all her favorite and best events, the calf roppin, the goat tieing and her specialty, the barrel race. In a flash it seemed that all the other competitors had taken their turn and now, it was Laramie’s turn. She hadn’t been this nervous since winning her first title as Cow Punchinist Cattle Queen Alive, despite her upper hand, with four of the 5 judges being blood relatives of hers. But this was different, this was gritty and tough, just Laramie’s style, and all she had to do was get a clean performance, no screw ups. You see, the other 35 contestants, all from her home town had failed to complete all 3 tasks, despite all of them making a living doing these exact tasks for a living and since they were old enough to ride. Well, like the flash of a lightning bolt, the gates swung open and that calf took off a rinnin with Laramie, atop Cisco, hot on its heels. Laramie flung her lariat and, a clean miss, she hit the critter just in front of its tail, and damnit if she wasn’t already half way past the first set of barrels. Laramie whipped around and ran the first barrel, then the second and then the third, all three fell over from being ran into, dag nabbit. Now it was time to tie that goat, Laramie sprinted on poor wore out, weezing and hacking Cisco, right up to that quivering goat. She hucked her right leg over the back of the saddle, lost grip of the saddle horn and flipped on her back, right on that poor goat. Luckily the goat was able slip loose of most of Laramie’s girth and narrowly avoided being squashed like a tortilla in a press. Sadly, it didn’t go so well for poor Laramie, she appeared to have blown out a kankle, sprained her neck, twisted a wrist and sharted her size 44 Wranglers, it wasn’t pretty. Quick as a whistle, 6 EMT’s ran in and rolled Laramie onto a gurney and wheeled her out of the arena. But don’t fret, despite the fact that Laramie received no time for her valiant effort, she swore to be back for the next 4 years as she chases her dreams of getting a masters in Western Horse Main braiding and pole bending analysis. Until next time Adios amigos and keep bronkin!!!
Housed and Fed 